Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
