it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
why do cheetos always look like penises
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
