He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
