Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize