my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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