hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
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