Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
