i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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