He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
