i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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