Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
