You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
