You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
