3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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