the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
