I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
