we have pet lesbian snakes
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
zippers are such a cool invention
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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