if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
