Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
