Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
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