3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
