I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My balls are so social today.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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