i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize