I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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