i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
