Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
