When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Randomize
