Can Purell be used as lube?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
