Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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