i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
