You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize