Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
