I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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