two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
