I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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