oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize