Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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