i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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