eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
