actually, I'm a sock model
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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