My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just had sex on a roof
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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