addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
