yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
