he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
