I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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