We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
