Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
