awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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