Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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