I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
then he tried to convert me to islam
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
