Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
