If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
