dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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