he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
