Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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