i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
