Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
